‘End the silence, Stop the violence’
Dreams, Hopes and Trusts- with all these she holds the hands of her life partner to embark on a journey of togetherness. And this life of togetherness begins exactly like a fairy-tale with all its pomp, glory and love and she wishes it to remain like so forever. She commits herself to her Prince and invests her love, care, and affection in the relationship. But as days roll on things backfire. Initially, she sees the Satan inside her Prince. Gradually she realizes that she has actually committed herself to a Satan and not a Prince. How did the Satan reveal his real identity to her? Spousal abuse!! Spousal Abuse! An abuse that would make any woman feel shattered and betrayed but the point is “what’s next?” Women in India are ready to report domestic violence if they are abused by their in-laws but most of them do not have the courage to raise voice against their husbands. Numerable reasons pop out for not taking such steps- the reputation of her family, the future of her children, her identity in the society, financial insecurities, etc. And being oblivious of the egregious effects of remaining dumb to the injustice done, they opt to remain silent with all those scars incised on their body. Silence is definitely not the best weapon against spousal abuse because it is never going to ameliorate her life. In fact, it is only going to aggravate the situation.
Before considering ‘why you should remain silent?’ think as to ‘why you should break the silence?’ This will ameliorate the situation instead of aggravating it. Here are five reasons ‘Why Women Shouldn’t be Silent to Spousal Abuse?’
1.Silence is a Sign of Approval: Your silence means that you are accepting his blows and allowing him to scar you. This gesture would make your battering husband think that you yourself feel that you deserve all the violence he is doing against you.
2.Your Silence, His License: Your silence is a kind of license which you give to your partner to continue the battering. So, don’t ever give that to him. He has not got that right over you!
3.Silence Increases your Vulnerability: Having given him the license through your silence, now you are even more vulnerable to his attacks and atrocities. He will be assured that every wound he inflicts on you will be concealed within the four walls. He will develop a “No one can question me!” attitude and would constantly abuse you.
4.Your Silence, Your Kid’s Misconception: Remember, your child is watching! Even if your child isn’t watching, he or she can hear you and will frame a misconceptions about your domestic life. Someday, he may imitate to be an atrocious husband or she may remain a victimized wife. He/She may misconstrue as that’s how a family functions. Also studies report psychological and behavioral effects on children witnessing parental discord.
5.Silence Shatters your Mental Equilibrium: Your silence may depress you even more. If you don’t break your silence, your silence will break you down. After all those injustice done to you and those abuses you have borne, you will have an urge to confide in someone. Do it! Else, you are going to feel even more miserable.
Being a victimizer is a shame! Identified as a victim is not! Be brave! Make a determination to speak out! That’s the best way to sort out!
— About the Author: This article is contributed by Gayathri Devi. Gayathri has completed her M.Phil. in English Literature from Tamilnadu. Literature instilled her in the thoughts of feminism. And gradually, she was attracted towards this concept and she says it has changed many of her perspectives towards our community & that is how she landed to Respect Women.