First thing which inspired me to write this article is the glibly words of some people like ‘It is really easy to handle both the job and baby’.
Well, profession and baby are entirely different. Why confuse them?
If a question, ‘Have you done a perfect job as a mother?’ is put forward before the mothers of teenage children of this generation and the mothers of two or three year old kids, the number of yes would be comparatively low in mothers of this generation. May be 20 or 30 years earlier, the advent of females doing a job would have begun and the stress factor, time constraints, hectic schedules, of course, would have been very minimal.
Another big issue to be dealt with here is the care and concern of joint families, years back. Despite the fact that joint families too have their own disadvantages and problems, the fact to be agreed is that children were taken good care by everyone in the family in the absence of their mothers. This care and concern has much reduced with the years.
Every woman apart from rocking her career wants and craves to be the best mother. Baby care is not at all an easy thing. From the stage of a baby in arms to a toddler mom has to give utmost importance to the kid. Thanks to the maternity leave and this stage can be crossed easily. For one year or two years, the kid receives affection and mother’s love without any stress. As time passes, her maternity leave gets over and she has to join her job. People in her family often mistake her as money-grubbing and scold her for joining the job too early, as if they EMI’s and car loans are her sole duty, inspite of the fact that they want her to take care of the child too.
Kids and their affection are left at day care. Mom takes care of kid in the nights and early mornings. Kids start going to school and here arises another conspiracy. Some housewives show extreme care and compassion towards their kids which obviously makes other kids (whose mothers are working) feel envy.
Loneliness starts occupying the kid’s heart and some (thankfully) complain to their mothers while some don’t (loneliness at its peak). This forces mother to go for either of the decisions –
1. Another baby
2. Leave the job for now.
Both can’t be done when thought practically. Bread earning is necessary so second option is put down. Another maternity leave, another pain is totally impossible. So mothers explain their kids of their situation and they understand slowly.
Teenage, a period where cocoon develops into a butterfly. Years back, puppy love was the only trouble and parents were able to reach their kids that it was a mere infatuation. But now mobiles, internet teach kids much more. So mothers would have topped in their career by then and worries too. Only 5% of mothers don’t feel bad. They may be doing a work from home job or a joint family. Rest of them feel bad and give their full focus on kids which is not necessarily needed now.
Finally, what can be done? I suggest just one solution, which is the need of the hour. Women should marry men who realize their responsibility towards the child and also realize that women alone are not responsible for taking care of the child. Making your wife pregnant isn’t a big responsibility, taking care of your wife and child is what you must do!
About the author: This article is written by our intern, Aditi Nath.