Identifying Toxicity in Romantic Relationships and Breaking Away from it
Are you the butt of jokes when hanging out with your partner and their friends? Are you being told that no matter what you wear, you always look too skinny or too fat? Are you seeing passive aggressive communication from your partner?
If something that your partner did made you think if they are too toxic for you then this one is for you, Here are some ways you can identify if your partner is a toxic person and how you can leave that negativity and toxicity behind and move on to a wholesome life.
- Excessive criticism resulting in stripped self-esteem
You see a consistent lack of support from your partner who shows zero respect for boundaries and your decisions. Beginning with the food you eat, clothes you wear to your career and life choices, they criticize it all and it has led you to question your worth not only in the relationship but also as an individual.
- Passive aggression
Toxic communication is a leading malicious trait that you have to really focus on understanding carefully. Perhaps, they have had the kind of upbringing that makes them think that passive aggressive anger or full blown anger episodes are acceptable. If they refuse to understand the patterns on being talked to about the anger and malice in communication, it is time for you to take a decision for the betterment of your emotional and overall well-being.
- They blame you for how their life turned out
Resentment and bitterness can single-handedly destroy a relationship regardless of how strong the passion and love is. Stemming from underlying issues, remorse over the life they are living because they chose to live it with you can cause your partner to hurt you with emotional abuse without them even knowing it.
- Lack of respect and dishonesty
A lot of toxic people with underlying issues stemming from negative childhood experiences or other trauma don’t realize that they are toxic. What’s sadder is that they will also not respect you and be 100% honest with you in the relationship. They will belittle you, judge you when it’s not called for, and not respect the boundaries you wish to set in the relationship.
- You are the only one pulling the weight in the relationship
Have you ever been subjected to the break up threat? Do you often feel like you are the only one doing all the work in the relationship and all you ever get is the threat that if you didn’t please them well enough, they will break up with you? Even if there is no threat and plain indifference from your partner while you make all the effort points to a toxic relationship you must get out of immediately.
- The relationship is abusive
Emotional, sexual or physical abuse in the relationship is a sure-shot sign of a toxic relationship. Any kind of abuse must not be tolerated by any individual as a relationship is meant to help you grow and must not victimize you.
Breaking away from toxic partners
It may be hard but drifting away from toxic partners will help you evolve in life as an individual and you owe it to yourself for the sake of your safety, self-esteem, self-respect. Following are simple ways to smoothen the ‘breaking-away’ for you:
- Fade away from their life
Let them think that they lost interest in you and that they won. Fade away from their life, limit your interaction, avoid staying over for too long, gradually stopping the interaction altogether,
- Get them to dump you (the gray rock method)
Again, let them think that they won by dumping you. Be the opposite of what they desire and make them grow distant from you, lose the attraction and look for someone new who fits their ‘type’.
- The last straw method
This one needs a bit of courage as you’d be the one making the decision and dropping the bomb. Even if it’s just another toxic thing they did, use it as an excuse that you have had enough and let them know that you are leaving. Then, don’t go back. Be strong, and work on yourself.
All this while, you must have a safety plan in place for you especially if your partner is violent.