7 Things We Want to Say to Women in Their 20s
Being in your 20s is confusing because you don’t know if you are an adult or on your way to be. Some women get through their 20s masquerading as individuals they aspire to be while for some, their 20s are a blur. Some go through their 20s doing things they don’t like because they haven’t found what they like yet while some have a plan to ‘retire at 30’ ready. There are innumerable facets to how us women live through our 20s but if only we had someone guiding us through it all. While, we can’t really steer you throughout it but we sure can steer you in a balanced and healthier direction.
Here are 7 things we feel will make it easy for you to make your way through your 20s with confidence:
- Become financially responsible
You are only going to grow older and the faster you start taking financially responsible decisions, the better. We all want to lead comfortable lives and not having to worry about money after a certain age caters immensely to that.
However, your life’s goal should not be money. Be focused on creating wealth, saving a healthy portion of your earnings but don’t stress about money 24×7. When you work towards a certain goal without obsessing about the end result and instead find new, intriguing ways of getting to your destination, the process becomes much more enjoyable.
Another factor about money and life that you should keep in mind is that 20-year-olds don’t have a lot of financial responsibilities. This means, you don’t have to follow a conservative approach to investing. Take a risk, understand what you have available and how it can reap the best results for you.
Same rules apply to living your life as a passionate but balanced woman. Don’t seek short-term gains. Find what matters to you, develop a vision and build your life.
It’s possible that you might not find anything that excites you. Not everyone loves their job or what they do for money but what they get out of it (financial or otherwise) keeps them from delighted.
Responsible financial planning starts with sensible and balanced decisions so save, invest and keep a rainy-day fund.
- Parties are amazing but so is being healthy
Cigarettes, drugs, vapes may have that ‘badass’ tag and you might still be going through that ‘rebellion’ phase but they are definitely not worth the array of resulting health issues that are going to crop up later in life
Develop positive habits, not destructive ones. Sleeping late on weekends is something we all do but sleeping at 4 in the morning when you have to be at work 6 hours later is just not right.
Balance your lifestyle. You want to party, set rules. Go clubbing once or twice a month, don’t go too hard on the alcohol. Go out for brunches or dinners but watch what you are eating if you do it a lot. Simple changes like walking a kilometer a day would go a long way; you can park your car or scooter a little farther away and then walk to your office. Or you could go cycling on the weekends.
Take time out to cook yourself meals at home instead of ordering in. Don’t become too dependent on ready-to-eat meals.
In simpler words, don’t be reckless with your body no matter how young you are.
- ‘Too old to marry’ is a patriarchal construct but finding love is not
As an Indian woman, I can testify to all the women tweeting sarcastically about aunties and uncles asking ‘the marriage question’. But here’s something worse you should know: people as young as 21 are going to ask you, “when are you getting married?”
The idea of marriage has been ingrained in our minds since childhood. It’s not a concept we are born with but as part of a conservative society that is slowly learning to be progressive, Indian parents, relatives and neighbors still bestow an unhealthy percentage of importance on finding the right groom for their daughters and getting them married because ‘paraya dhan’.
Don’t get married if you don’t want to. Don’t have kids if you don’t want to. Your 20s shouldn’t be all about finding the right guy and getting married unless that is precisely what you want to do without any societal coercion.
You are never too old to get married. Nevertheless, if you are confident about your relationship or your match and want to take the plunge, and are still in your 20s, do it.
- Cut drama out of your life
Cut the energy-vampires out of your life. No, we don’t mean this as a joke. You really don’t need the negativity or even the toxic positivity. A healthy approach to living a wholesome life when you are in your 20’s is staying grounded and limiting the drama.
Look for people who value as individuals and not resources they can exhaust or people who just want something from you. Be careful with the kind of people you hang out with. It might seem like you still have a lifetime ahead of you but time really does fly. Don’t waste it on people who are not worth it.
20s come with fewer obligations and more resources and time for you so instead of letting drama take up a huge portion of your ‘20s freedom’, take up travel, hobbies, enjoy experiences because with increasing age comes higher responsibility and reduced ability to take risks.
- It’s alright to feel lost and overwhelmed with life
If you worked your way through college, you’d have a better understanding of managing stress while dealing with things professionally. But it still won’t make you prone to feeling lost and overwhelmed at times, only better equipped to deal with those feelings.
It’s possible that you might feel lost after graduation, you may not be working the job of your dreams or worse, you might come to the conclusion that all your college education amounted to nothing and you have different passions that you want to pursue.
But guess what?
None, we mean NONE has everything figured out.
As a woman in your 20s, soak up as much enthusiasm as you can get, try to keep a positive outlook and if you have troubling thoughts about transitioning to adulthood, talk to someone you trust.
There will be roadblocks; you might be stuck at a job that doesn’t pay very well or a project that seems to be going on forever. Remember to not put any undue pressure on you because it’s not going to be an overnight success. And, the idea of success is highly subjective. Having millions of social media followers might feel like success to some while some might be infatuated with the idea of becoming a celebrated art critic or a photographer, revered by industry giants.
Even if you haven’t set goals, it’s alright but take small steps towards where you want to be in years to come. Even on the days you are at your lowest, remind yourself that you matter and do something kind for someone else and you.
- Embrace failure but never give up
Failure is wholly natural and shouldn’t be antagonized like it is usually. Your big dreams won’t come true unless you work towards them and make an effort.
When you make an effort, it either goes the right way, bringing in fruitful results or it simply doesn’t go right and get you the result you desired. But there’s an opportunity to learn every time you run into failures, small or big. Don’t let your losses set you back in life, don’t let yourself lose the inspiration to fulfill your dreams.
However, only inspiration is not going to do it. Hard and smart work is the key to succeeding in life. Don’t ever stop learning new things, new skills. Industries evolve so evolve with it.
Never be embarrassed about having done something ‘not-right’ or making mistakes.
Your personal and career growth will not be dictated by successes alone but also by mistakes and failures that helped you learn and evolve and not giving up will get you there.
- Cultivate a life that’s not too dependent on technology
We have talked about how you owe it to yourself to cut drama, financially draining habits, negativity, toxic partying out of your life. We told you to not worry about getting married because that’s not all that there is to a woman’s life.
The last thing we want to tell you to do in your 20s is reduce your dependency on technology. Don’t let it become such a huge part of your life. Let nature heal you from within. There will always be temporary pleasures but the universe has been here longer than we can imagine. It will outlive all of us. There’s a certain kind of solace in engaging with nature, letting it become a part of your life. Make a conscious, consistent effort to stay close to nature and not let technology dominate your life and choices.