HOW DO I TELL YOU?
How do I tell you –
You, the girl with
the hair sticking out
from the centre
of her head
because
it has been oiled
more carelessly
than the rest
of her scalp –
how do I tell you
what your mother does?
How do I tell you –
You, the seven year old
who keeps talking to me
in Bengali,
hoping that one day,
someday, I’ll reply
In the same tongue–
how do I tell you
what your mother does?
How do I tell you –
You, who intently
cradles her infant brother
trying to teach him the alphabet
so that he does better than all the
others at school –
how do I tell you
what your mother does?
How do I tell you –
You, the playful child
who keeps making up
new games in her head
and teaches me
every single one of them
because she is tired
of being the “big girl”
who has to play
the baby games
all the time –
how do I tell you
what your mother does?
How do I tell you –
You, who keeps asking
for my dupatta
because she wants to
act the part
of the new bride
when they all play “house” –
how do I tell you
what your mother does?
How do I tell you
what your mother does
for a living
when you ask me –
persistently,
pleadingly,
insistently
ask me
every day
until
I am tired
of changing the topic
of conversation?
How do I tell you
that your mother
invites men to her bed
for a living;
that she wears
provocative clothing,
red lipstick
and roses
not for the man she loves,
but to entice the man
walking past her door
so she can survive
for another day;
that she would rather
you and your brother
grow up believing
that you don’t have a mother
than let you both
stay with her
in the tiny room
where she works;
that she leaves you
at the crèche
all day
and most nights
because
she wants to
shield you from
the cruel terrors
of the world
and not because
she doesn’t love you;
how do I tell you
all these things?
You think
your mother is
like Wonder Woman,
and you should –
she is.
She does everything
she can to protect you.
She does everything
she can to educate you.
She does everything
she can to give you a better life.
A life that is better
than hers,
at least.
But how can i
tell you
all these things
when I don’t know
if you will continue
to see her
in the same light
after I
answer your question?
————–
About the Author: This article is contributed by Aashna Banerjee, our Intern.
