Remember that scene in Pride and Prejudice where Elizabeth rejects Mr. Collins and he thinks that she is doing so merely because she wants him to try harder? Well, that misconception is there in many men of our country, be it due to one reason or the other. And the fact that many industries even support it openly is just plain-right annoying. And what’s worse is that many people don’t even realize it!
Here are a few reasons why men don’t understand it when women say no, be it for sex or for just dating:
1. Weird Bollywood logic:
This is the most popular one. There is a tale as long as time persisting in our Bollywood movies that if you chase a woman hard enough, she will definitely fall in love with you and date you or marry you. Does it never occur to these people, or to their viewers that the girl just might be finding it creepy? And there are mindless number of examples in our Bollywood history that prove the same e.g. in one of the most popular movies of the industry (name omitted here), the male protagonist literally does nothing but flirt with the female one even when she gives too many signs of irritation at the same, and yet, the two end up falling in love. I mean, grow up dears! We don’t always fall for such men.
2. Peer pressure:
Yes, it is there and it is a pretty common one too. How many times has a guy chased a girl merely because she looks “hot” and his friends force him to do so? Be it in the after-effects of alcohol or just plainly after calling him a “pussy”? Millions right? And it sucks!
There are many Indian novels also which promote the same. I read one a few years ago by a popular Indian author and the story line was something like this: they were college mates, he fell in love, he proposed, she said yes even though she didn’t love him but hoped to, they were together for long, things got out of hand, they broke up, she said she needs some time alone but he still chased after her everywhere that she went by going as far as to her place and stalking her in the market. I mean, it was a clean breakup. Why can’t men let it remain that? And what’s worse is that after all this chasing, she ends up falling in love with him. What sort of a logic is that except a creepy one?
4. Some men just want some:
Yes, this is true and it happens a lot. This is one of the reasons why you need to be sure that the person you are hanging out with isn’t doing so merely to get into your pants. There are many and when they find out that you won’t, they force their way in and honestly, it is termed as rape. Remember that!
This is pretty stupid but some men think that the only reason a girl is saying no to them is because they want to show control in a relationship and that they want to say yes but they fear that if they say no, they will lose this control that they are trying to build since day one. It is a completely absurd idea and we don’t know where it even came from. Is it so hard to understand that they are doing this merely because they are uncomfortable enough or that they don’t reciprocate the same feelings?
And these were few of the reasons that I observed why men believe no means yes. Feel free to add in yours!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: This article is written by Shashwathi Srinivasa, our intern.