THE DEFINITION OF “BEING A GENTLEMAN”
Over the years, boys from families of respectable values and proper mannerism were taught to behave like gentlemen. When I was a kid, my parents would compare me to other men and tell me to behave like them and act like them. I WAS A KID. How was I supposed to act like a man when I would come back home with mud on my shorts and dragging a cricket bat back to my room? But I digressed. Being a gentlemen, as I grew up, meant a lot of versions to me. The most famous version was- being a tall man, dressed in a dapper suit or tuxedo, wearing a top hat and a moustache with, you know, a British accent. (No, but seriously, Jai Hind!)
And you know what this man would do? This man would open doors for a woman. Say, a door of a car or the door to a restaurant or something. This man would throw his coat on a puddle of water just so that she doesn’t get her feet wet. He would pay the bill after every dinner. And all these other subtle or little things that made him a gentleman. Now, let’s go back to the few things that he did- He would do things that she, on any other normal day, could do for herself even if he was not there. Wait. Here it is. Doing things for a woman because he thought a woman deserved to be treated that way because she could not handle the money, or the doors, or the bloody water. But THAT is the norm. That is the culture. THAT is the tradition. Parents bring up boys and girls to act like a certain way. Sadly, it still exists. And that’s where feminism is a hard ideology to get across, because ultimately, it’s not about making women superior to men. It’s about advocating equality. o, even though making a woman feel special by doing such little acts is nice but it is communicating a message that women can’t do all this stuff for themselves. But why can’t they? So next time, pay your own share of the meal lady, because long gone are the days when women couldn’t have an equal position as men, and dear men, please let women pay their part of the bill. They can, believe me, pay their own bills! Open your own doors, because well, seriously, you got hands. And buy yourself some waterproof shoes or something, if needed. This may be a very trivial observation, but it is a start, and it is time that men have the feeling that women can very well adjust without them. But in this world where equality is really needed, I would ask all the men to make a little effort in doing things, that would help women in their daily tasks, like she helps you. Wondering how? Well, who takes care of your family, your food, your home, your kids? Don’t tell me you think, it’s not a job! It is, if you don’t believe me, let’s exchange roles and talk then!
About the Author: This article is contributed by Joshua Moses, our intern.