Emotions: why recognize them to be feminine and un-acceptable for men

What is the worst thing a person can call a guy considering him emotionally unstable? I bet “stop being a girl” is what he would have been hearing for years. Do you notice a problem? I do. Pre-defining our expectations with the kind of behavior one is supposed to confirm to as per their sex is one of the stereotypes being popularly criticized now-a-days. “Boys don’t cry”,” man up buddy”, “if you want to cry, go wear bangles as well” and a bundle of more such things are certain comments with which every boy is nurtured. But how does removing filters from your emotional space make you feminine? Is being able to openly express yourself called being ‘woman-ish’? Isn’t expressing oneself a very natural process common to all humans, be it a man or a woman? I believe all this makes you live a life being more of your authentic self who lives, loves, expresses and explores. Popular culture, stereotypes and situations define how we behave. Some also argue that it is the brain chemistry that makes humans emotionally different. Research shows that there might be difference in the response by men and women to situations but there is not much difference in the levels of self-conscious emotions (SCE) that stimulate the flow of sadness, anxiety, happiness etc. These findings by Else Quest from the Department of Psychology (University of Maryland) contribute to the collected works validating that extensive typecasts about women’s greater emotionality are somewhere erroneous. The stereotypical description of what men are supposed to do and what women must do, has landed us in a place where when a man behaves like a normal being who is capable of shedding tears at his heartbreak is called lady-like. These are the only stereotypes that put men into the dominant drivers’ seat and push women back into rear seat. I agree that ladies or girls cry easily and on the contrary men portray themselves to be the stronger counterparts. But how many of them don’t cry or don’t feel upset because they don’t feel it from inside or because they are tied to the society’s misconception of ‘men are emotionally strong?’ I think science would agree to me on the point that the tear glands works equally well for men as they do for women. Whenever a boy is seen crying he is not asked the reason behind his fit of sadness but is given a lecture to man up and to not be a ‘girl’. What’s there in being a girl if you are crying? They equally feel hurt; have all the rights to show it without being compared to women as it’s not the sex that makes you emotionally weak but the type of environment you are grown into. A girl is constantly told that she can express herself without hesitation whereas boys are taught otherwise. A lot of parents nurture their daughters like their sons, I man I don’t understand why do we even have this gender thing in our mind? It seems more like a self-inflicting activity to me, not just harming your children but us, our whole family, the whole society, and also its is clearly provocation of gender stereotypes.       ——————– About the Author: This article is contributed by Apurva Mittal, our intern.