I Don’t Want an Indian Wedding

With the wedding season in full swing in Delhi, it is bound to get invited to one or more weddings and that too of various types ranging from the typical Punjabi wedding to the South Indian style.

Very recently, I was invited to a few weddings and what I saw left me feeling anguished, confused, irritated and frankly disgusted. Having pondered upon the varied customs we follow in almost all religions in India, it is no surprise that women are still ill-treated. We are so blinded by our customs and traditions that we no longer see how these very customs pave way to the repression faced by married women. In a typical Hindu wedding, the mother of the bride washes the feet of the groom—a guy young enough to be her son—with her bare hands. In a typical scenario, will you ever allow your mother to touch your feet? But apparently when it comes to her daughter’s would-be-husband, it is completely acceptable! In a particular kind of South Indian wedding, the groom walks away from the marriage to supposedly pursue education and learn life skills and the father of the bride has to plead so that he accepts his daughter. A father, for any girl, is her first hero. Seeing my father pleading to anyone let alone my husband is unacceptable to me. Even today, most families expect women to change their surname, in the name of custom. She has to change a part of her name, which has been her identity for more than 20 years of her life. The surname that an unmarried girl carries is somewhat of no significance as soon as she is married. Even the most educated women don’t seem to find this custom rather absurd. Very recently I met an old friend of mine, who was about to get married in a month’s time. Catching up on what was happening in each other’s life, I was shocked to hear that she quit her job to take care of her new home. The very same girl was amongst the most ambitious people I knew! It was outrageous. If this is the status quo of the educated lot in India, I am worried about the poorer uneducated part of the country. What is surprising and horrifying is that we don’t seem to have an issue with this and we accept it the way it is! It is high time to shun these customs! A marriage is the union of two hearts who plan to spend the rest of their lives together .Let us not spoil the sanctity of this beautiful relationship by these so-called ‘customs’.