5 reasons why your self-love meter is down & 5 ways to get it back up

Daily soaps and poorly written romance novels might tell you that your partner would be the one loving you through your guards of insecurities and that they would make you break free from self hatred.

Well, sorry to break it to you, but it isn’t quite the reality. In the real world, lack of self love is a hindrance to romantic relationships. Might sound bitter, but don’t expect anyone to love you if the first person who loves you isn’t you.

Here’s a few signs to determine if your self love meter is down.

1.You doubt yourself way too much

You are a pessimist when it comes to yourself, you underestimate yourself so much that you’re even afraid of being yourself and constantly doubt your abilities, and the anxiety screws up your work.

2. You can’t take criticism

Not in a narcissistic way, but you’re tremendously sensitive to criticism. You either tend to get furious or have a breakdown and feel humiliated. If you loved yourself, you probably would have accepted the criticism and tried to work for betterment.

3. Pathological people pleaser

You feel the compulsive need to please everyone around you and set your value to yourself relying on their feedback. You rely on other people’s perception and thoughts about you as a source of confidence boost. You try hard to make people like you better so as you gain praise and feel better about yourself.

4. You suffer from imposter syndrome

In a gathering, you feel like you’re the invisible one and the one who probably barged in and tried to fit. You basically feel like someone who’s a misfit to the glamor of other people, but you feel this way only because you lack confidence and you aren’t secure about yourself.

5. You need constant reassurance

You’re not fishing for compliments but there’s this whirlwind of questions, a tornado of thoughts spinning in your mind about different things. It could be the feeling of not being good enough for your partner, a job etc.. You constantly need reassurance so as to settle down your anxiety.

Now, the question comes, how do we get over it? Well, there are many ways, but we are just mentioning the five most appropriate ways as per us:

1. Get a grip on your thoughts

Arrange your thoughts, assess them and then ponder upon them and try to see if they really make sense to you. Generally, ‘no’ would be an answer. Pluck out the negative thoughts and plant the seeds of the positive thoughts.

2. Take challenges

Push past your comfort zone in order to boost your self-esteem. Push yourself to try on new things and explore various things. Gain experiences and enjoy. Don’t cling onto your comfort zone forever.

3. Be confident

Everyone has flaws, some way or the other. But not everyone lets that get to their head and neither should you. Be confident about yourself and try to indulge yourself in positive self-talk.

4. Be physically active

Be consistent and prioritize exercising, since being physically active is proven to improve the mood and boost self-esteem. It’s also one of the means of taking care of yourself.

5. Believe in yourself

Forgive yourself for all the conversations you could have chipped in and added valuable points or for misspeaking. Mistakes are made, and it’s forgivable. Don’t keep replaying the same things in your brain, move on.