Mothers and daughters of changes and inheritances

A mother is any girl’s first friend, the first face she commits to her memory, the first person she calls out to, the first teacher she has, the first person she trusts and the first person she loves. A mother is a daughter’s biological as well as emotional map and guides her throughout her life. Even if a mother is not physically present with her daughter, her presence is still very much felt by her daughter till the day she lives. A daughter is the reflection of her mother and the “like mother like daughter” doctrine is very well accepted in the society. It is always expected that a daughter would be the mirror image of her mother but with the changing times it is not absolutely necessary. As is said that change is the law of nature and so is happening these days. We can see that the   relationship between a mother and daughter has under went a sea change not in the terms of the love they have for each other but the increase in the level of understanding between the two and the kind of friendly connect that the two share. mother and daughter With the passing times the relationship that a mother shares with her daughter and vice versa has seen a lot of changes. From being a somewhat “you learn what I learnt from your grandmother” scenario to a “you learn from your own experiences”, the progress has not been a spontaneous one but it has taken a lot of time and a lot of ideological battles for the society to reach this point where this relationship has reached a much needed junction but despite the progress made, there is still a lot more to do with regards to keeping this trend a progressive one. The factors helpful in bringing about this progress begin with a mother’s initiative to give her daughter an upbringing of the kind where she doesn’t find her existence to be a burden on others and where she is not made to lose belief in her outlook. It’s a mother’s responsibility to make sure that the atmosphere she provides to her daughter while she grows up would decide the kind of relationship both of them would share. A daughter, while she grows up, knowingly or unknowingly adapts the habits and the mannerisms of her mother. Its a part of a much bigger natural phenomenon within which the initial medium of knowledge is the mother and it’s what she conveys to her daughter that form the basis of her thoughts. Despite this initial influence with the passage of time and as the daughter grows up and faces various phases of life beginning with school and then college and later the workplace or the house of her in-laws. Though the teachings of her mother form the basis of her dealings but the other influences too have their effects and while some mothers as well as daughters succeed in combining the outcome of both these there are others which cannot do the same and as a result their relationship follows the stereotype path and they end up being the newer versions of the same old maa-beti. The modern times call for a developed understanding to this simple yet complex relationship. By a modern understanding, I don’t mean that a mother needs to give unwanted space to her daughter or at the same time suffocate her by imposing unwanted barricades on her ideological freedom. Both mothers as well as daughters need to balance this beautiful relationship. The need here is to place unconditional trust in each other and to stand by each other through all the times. It’s not just a daughter who needs her mother by her side but a mother also needs the support of her daughter many times and by being there for each other they both can marvel over the beauty of this wonderful bond. It’s high time that we take the initiative of being the understanding one rather than tagging ourselves as the “misunderstood” one. This is at least what my mother always taught me, to be the one who takes the initiative of building the bridges rather than blaming the one who burnt the bridges. While inheriting the wisdom of mothers, we also need to accept the change that is prevalent in the present time and model ourselves in a manner that we are able to bear both of these in our minds and benefit from them rather than doing the opposite.     ————–

 About the Author: This article is contributed by Uroosa Wani, our intern.

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